A Curse & A Blessing • by Ruth Rae

I never would have dreamed that one day I would write a book, let alone two! As a child I was forever curious and had a can-do attitude. I could often be found daydreaming under a tree or roaming in a field playing with seedpods talking to crows and weaving baskets from tall grass weeds. But school was very difficult for me. I was extremely aware that I "viewed" things differently then most. When I was in the 4th grade, I was reading at a 1st grade level. After much testing I was tagged as having dyslexia.

The Wrong Key to a Locked Door
When I was young and in school my learning disability was by far my curse! I wanted to be like all of my friends who were “smart.” I wanted to “get it” when the teacher taught a subject. But the parts of learning somehow never made sense to me — everything was all mixed up and mashed together. I wanted so much to understand but for me learning was much like having the wrong key to open a locked door. I knew I was not stupid but I also understood that I did not see things like most people did. I was taught to learn the direction of the alphabet through touch on sand cards; I would trace each letter with my finger. To this day when I write and try to think of the direction the letters need to go my fingers tingle a little, as they are as I type this.

As a young person in school I only envisioned my dyslexia as a curse, but now I can see the blessing of my curse, as it gave to me a way to see things from a different perspective. It pushed me to believe in myself and not care what others thought of me. It made me seek out my true self and follow my heart! I suppose you could say that I was blessed to have been born dyslexic. My dyslexia made me see things differently; it helped me to understand at a young age that we are only what we allow ourselves to become.

A New Way
The funny thing I have learned about curses is that they teach us to be strong as they push us to grow. I may not have held the key to open the locked door but I was resourceful enough even as a child to understand that if one door cannot be opened then we must find a new way to get to where we need to go. Art and being creative was never a choice for me. I suppose that because my dyslexia made seeing things like others almost impossible, I naturally allowed myself the freedom to express myself in the ways that came easy to me and in the ways that I fully understood. Since craft is so tactile, I was drawn to it at a very young age. Because my disability jumbles up someplace between my hand and how my eyes and brain communicate, even my creative interruptions were never what others would do because my process of logic is somewhat different. Thus, my creative processes have always been somewhat my own.

In all of this I have learned that we are truly lucky when we realize it's the hard parts of our life that oftentimes push us to be stronger and truer to our self. Because of my early struggles as a child I was pushed to question what my eyes would see. Therefore I had to learn how to allow myself to trust my instincts. As a result of my early struggles as a young person in school and as an adult, I have become the sum of all my parts and how I view my life and my art is the direct result.

To learn more about Ruth Rae, visit her blog at ruthrae.blogspot.com.

Comments

[Jeanne]

Hi Ruth!
I totally agree with you - it's the hard parts of life that teach us the most.
xo
jeanne

[Heather ~ Pretty Petals]

what a wonderful and inspiring story Ruth! I enjoyed reading your story... and love your art! xo

[melody ross]

absolutely beautifully written....and beautifully lived! Can't wait to hug you in person!

[Darcy Roy]

So many of us can relate to your beautiful story. Your art often conveys to me a feeling of loss, of alone-ness. Yet, it has a tattered warmth to it. It stands out and catches my eye and I like knowing your story. You are a survivor. Well Done.
We are all part of a wonderful tribe. brave.

[linda]

How wonderful, thanks for sharing your experiences. It's fabulous to take something seemingly negatively and see the positivity and good in it...yay!

[Ellen]

I love how you creativity flourished, among being frustrated!
You found a way to cope, to bring forth art in a new direction.
I do think, even though it is difficult that we have to see their is good in our despair. Sometimes it takes years to see
how this difficultly, created a new life for you! I love your work and I am happy, that you found your way! Art Saved your sanity and soul! Glad you shared your story~

[Ellen]

Your story is a powerful one; I think your brain found beauty to heal. Your creative process, helped you cope with your struggle! I am so happy you shared your powerful message and
I love how your work inspires~