Art: A Self-Prescribed Remedy • by Becky Shander

Back in high school, and from a tiny corner of my bedroom during an especially difficult time, I found a way to escape. I found art ... I found solace.

Stress of Real Life
During my adolescent years many family issues surfaced that caused me to spin out of control. Most of the troubles stemmed from my parents’ decision to separate. This involved a lot of moving around for everyone and it felt like we were playing musical chairs. During this uncertain period no one really knew where we could sit and rest — I was constantly afraid of not having a solid seat to settle into.

It was extremely stressful watching my parents take turns moving in and out of our home. There seemed to be no boundaries to how far they would wander, and moving to a distant place such as Hong Kong was what eventually happened. At the same time my older siblings were scurrying mindlessly about, moving here and there trying to find their places in this world, and all I could do was wait and see. Every time they moved, the music would stop (just like in the game) and I would be left feeling anxious and afraid. This unrelenting fear was at an alarming level since I knew this wasn’t a game at all ... this was real life.

Creating for Focus
To keep myself from falling deeper into despair I focused on making things, beautiful things. I spent countless hours, healing hours, absorbing myself in the creative process. Although this didn’t exactly fix everything for me, after my art sessions I would always feel calmer, and I would gain a sense that things might actually be okay someday.

I often turned to this self-prescribed remedy whenever I felt lonely and upset. Back then my go-to outlet was to draw, and my favorite activity was to draw a pretty portrait of a happy girl ... the girl I wished to be. I would begin each drawing by sketching with a regular pencil and then I would fill in the details with color. Since we didn’t have extra money to buy luxuries such as art supplies, I used some of my every day make-up to add color and shading to my drawings. I would carefully apply real blush to the cheeks of my drawings, smudge on lipstick, and sweep hazy-colored eye shadow across the eyelids to add some depth. The pretty pink and shimmery palette added a rosy quality that brought life to my simple sketches.

The Power of Art
After completing each drawing I would feel a temporary lift ... a moment of hope and happiness. To keep these positive feelings going, during those rough years I did this over and over and over again, allowing the process to heal the many broken parts of me.

Interestingly, to this day I love to use broken or cast-aside pieces to create beautiful things. Over the years I’ve had thousands of hours of practice and now it has become like second nature to assemble this n’ that to create just about anything. In many ways I feel that I am very much like the chipped and flawed pieces that I often use in my work. Creating beauty using random old and odd parts feels greatly satisfying, and there’s a sense of control and purpose that comes from giving new life to previously useless objects.

As the years have gone by, I’ve slowly and consistently gained strength, confidence and faith in myself as well as the world around me. I’ve been given a second, third, maybe even a fourth chance, just like some of the found objects I love to bring back to life. And now I can barely remember what it was like being that scared little girl, alone in my bedroom. In complete contrast to those dark years way back when, my life now is bright and rosy, and very much like the pink-colored cheeks in my earlier drawings. I realize that I have become that happy girl that I wished to be ... and it was the power of art that helped to save me.

To learn more about Becky Shander, visit beckyshander.com.

Comments

[Jeanne]

What a touching story Becky. I know how it feels to be in limbo and not in control of what is happening in your life. And for a child it is even worse. Stability is what we all crave and when uncertainty takes over it can be devastating. I'm so glad you had your art to get you through this turbulent time in your life.
xo
jeanne

[Ellen]

Becky,
Art became your glue; a band aid for your soul. Your artistic eye developed, during your childhood trauma. You found a way to be calm and see beauty, like the eye of a storm. When life became unclear; You made new windows of reflection. I am sorry for what you endured, but within the storm, you found a wonderful gift, an essence of your true soul. Your chair may have broken, during your childhood, but you found a way to salvage the pieces and glue it back together! xXx

[linda]

Very lovely story, thank you for sharing! I know that art can help us feel a lot better in hard times and I think it allows us to really reflect and calm down...so we can deal with the issues in life. Your pieces are so interesting to look at...will be visiting your site :)

[Doreen]

It's amazing isn't it, how we can loose ourselves in what we do. How the troubles that weigh on our hearts disolve away, even if just for a while, when our hands are busy creating. Your story is touching, and your pink cheeks certainly shine through in your art. (O: Doreen

[red or gray]

i enjoyed the story ... creating can bring us much solace to the complexities that is life ... ELK

[Diane Knott]

Becky, Not only are you gifted in art, but in words. The way you described your experience is beautiful and touching.

Bless you! I so enjoy visiting with you always!

Hugs, Diane