Through the Highs & The Lows • by Pam Carriker

As I sat down to write how art has saved me, I wasn’t sure where to begin. You see, art has saved me so many times over the course of my life — sometimes in little ways, but countless times. It’s saved me in the highs of my life and the lows — from my parent’s divorce to my own. Back then, the art I did to work through my emotions was a bit more crafty. Scrapbooking and rubber stamps were very important to me at the time as I documented the milestones of my growing family. Things changed as I went through my divorce. The thought of adding another page to the scrapbook of my then shattered life was just too painful to bear, so I began looking for other ways to be creative but never for a moment was giving up my creative life an option. Though my art has evolved now, it is still very much a refuge.

Deployment Portrait
When I was determining what to share, a very recent experience came to mind. My son, who is 20 and married with a baby on the way, is in the army. Just the other day, I found out he is going to be deployed this month. This will be his first deployment and I was very upset, especially when I first heard. I was nervous, and I didn’t know what to do. Instinctively, I went right to my studio and began another portrait.

So much of what I do now is pre-planned; it’s an assignment from someone or a submission to be done before a deadline. I work in my Art Journal almost daily, but occasionally, I’m able to just grab a canvas and start going. I’m able to release my thoughts, my worries, and my emotions right there in my art. When I’m finished, I feel spent. But in a good way. I’m able to take something that is sad and hard for me and turn it into something productive and when someone else recognizes their feelings in a piece of my art it comforts me to know that I’m not alone.

Working through Emotions
My other two kids, boys ages 19 and 8, are often the source of my paintings as well. As they’re growing up, I feel like I keep learning the same thing over and over. The life of a mother is really a series of lessons in “letting go.” This is good, it is right, it is the way things are supposed to be. It also causes a mom’s heart to clutch a bit each time. And it doesn’t matter if I have a whole list of things that need to be done — when I’m needing to let go of emotional things, I just have to put my to-do list on hold and create for me. That’s how it’s always been. Art has always been a part of my life, and I’ve always figured out how to incorporate it in somewhere.

To learn more about Pam Carriker, visit her Web site at pamcarriker.com.

Comments

[Nancy Lefko]

Thanks for sharing, Pam. I know just what you mean about the "clutch" you feel in your heart...I am sure that when I send son #1 off to college in August, I'll be heading to my journal for "therapy." :)

[Sharon Pendergraft]

I am a dedicated follower (and admirer) of your art from your blog, on-line classes, and the many art magazines in which you've been published.....so thanks for sharing your experience in this "Art Saves" article. I will print it out and put it in my "Pam Carriker" inspiration notebook. THANKS!

[Renee Troy]

Pam, being a mother of boys adds another dimension to the word mom. I have 2 grown sons and I truly don't know how they are adults today. One was a wild cat growing up and I held my breath for many years. I know it doesn't stop when they reach adulthood.
I'm sure your wonderful art has been a source of peace and rest from the bittersweet joys of having sons. I can certainly relate. God bless you and your brave sons.

[Jodi Ohl]

Wonderful story Pam, I can truly relate as well how often the joys and tribulations of being a parent can find its way on to our canvas or journal. Creativity has a way of helping us get us through the rough times and is there cheering us on during the high points of our lives as well. I'm so very glad I've met you through our various groups, you are truly a wonderful inspiration to me and so many others :)

[Mary Beth]

Your portraits are lovely. The lesson of 'letting go' is so hard, isn't it. Hugs to you and your boys.

[Jen Crossley]

Your work is really Beautiful

[linda]

Thanks for sharing, your words are beautiful about learning to let go as a mother...wow...it's so touching...