My Art Saves Story • by Cheryl Waters

My art is an extension of who God has made me and what I've learned and experienced on this journey we call life.

I grew up in a home that was emotionally healthy and happy. I was always artistic as a child and my family encouraged me a great deal in my artistic ventures although I never took any formal training. I drew, created with paper, playfully painted, and just enjoyed!

Times of Uncertainty & Lessons Learned
Fast forward to a happy marriage, one beautiful daughter, and a life as an overseas Christian missionary. My husband and I spent six years overseas in places like Zambia, South Africa, Madagascar, and Venezuela. Most of our time was spent on the wonderful and “warm” island of Madagascar where I grew to love the Malagasy culture and people. I saw things that have been permanently engrained in my mind. Poverty so poor it’s unimaginable, friends and people dying of things they shouldn’t, the AIDs epidemic affecting adults and children, street kids, hunger, murder, and more. For the first four weeks we were on the mission field I cried every day and then I realized I needed to buck up. The lessons I learned were invaluable ... lessons of gratitude, simplicity, contentment, community, culture, strong faith, and making mistakes. In our position, I felt there were high expectations — you’re almost put on a pedestal (which I shouldn’t be) — or I felt that way, as if I was viewed in a bubble at times.

We were on the front line, my husband traveled a great deal, there were times of fear and uncertainty we faced. There were times of government overthrows. Early on, there were many days someone would try to steal from or rob us. We were about 10 minutes away from the Congo and the first week we were on our own my husband was held at gunpoint ... that’s another miracle story for another time. We met other missionaries that had been kidnapped or shot but had a great deal of perseverance ... there was a great deal of work to be done and hope to be spread, as well as lessons to be learned. There were times of triumph and great joy, learning and progressing, and eventually a time where we became very comfortable and happy where we were. We saw dreams and goals fulfilled but I also had failures.

Trapped in a Dark Place
Upon returning to the states for a short stay, I fell into a deep depression. I never knew what depression was prior to this time. I decided (not we — my husband and I) that we wouldn’t return to the mission field. Between a combination of guilt, shame, and being in a foreign environment (although I used to call So. Cal. my home — I was born and raised in Southern California) ... I felt alone, out of place. It was dark and I felt like it was hopeless. I felt like I had disappointed others ... not met up to expectations, had the pressure of perfection, had a loss of a vision, and had failed in many ways, especially in my marriage. I was absolutely paralyzed by depression although I had a loving family, friends, beautiful daughter, and husband. I didn’t find enjoyment in eating, life, or the littlest of things ... all I wanted to do was sleep and really didn’t want to wake up. I felt trapped in a dark cold place. Finally I knew I had to intervene or I was going to take my life ... I felt I had no reason to live. So I reached out to a Christian counselor who helped me take the first step out of the darkness and into the light I had always known. It was through the power and forgiveness first off of my Savior Jesus, but also with help of my church family, mom, dad, husband, and art!

I began to heal slowly and forgive myself. There are still times I have to revisit “forgiving myself.” But if all others have forgiven me, why shouldn’t I? Out of failure, comes success. I also realized that the deeper our pain and troubles, the bigger hole to fill our hearts with compassion; that’s if we allow the pain to make us better and not bitter.

Bringing Hope
More and more I began to create and it brought me great joy! It was the best therapy for this creative soul. I was doing something I knew I was meant to do and eventually began teaching others to do that same and feel comfortable with what they create. Art does save and I’m a testimony to that. Art helped bring me out of this dark place ... depression ... a place of gray and black into a world of color and dozens of shades of blue, yellow, green, orange ...

Much of the art I create has a message or reminder of what I need to tell myself or what I feel I need to share with others ... woven in and throughout it. A message of hope, of the fact that “Art Saves,” of light and a reminder that our pain, experiences, and what we go through doesn’t have to be wasted. It can be used to help another, to create color and art, to create friendships, and more. One of those dear friendships I found through my “Art Saves” story is Jenny Doh. She has been a loving friend and in many ways I think she doesn’t know ... has helped me grow.

I want to be one who attempts to be a “hope bringer” through my words, art, and life. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes but I want to learn from them and use them. Isaiah of long ago said, “If you extend your soul to the hungry and satisfy the afflicted soul, then your light shall dawn in the darkness, and your darkness shall be as the noonday.” Each of us have the opportunity to do that ... to take what life has dealt us (talents, finances, possessions, experience) to share it and learn from it. I am reminded every day I’m given and appreciate (now) ... that in my process of healing and wholeness art played a great role and “Art Saves.”

To learn more about Cheryl Waters, visit fiskateers.com/blog.

Comments

[Julie O.]

What a powerful example of how God uses art to help heal. Thank you so much for sharing such a deep part of your life. You are such an inspiration!

[Michael Crawford]

Cheryl,
I read your wonderful story [testimony] about Romans 8:28 as I also can affirm. I went through a deep depression filled with anxiety in the summer of 2004 through the first part of 2005. It's was a looooooong journey as each moment was seemingly so hopeless. I spent untold hours on my knees crying out to God Who seemed soooooo far away. But, praise God, He had a purpose in that painful journey. He slowly led me to scriptures of peace and hope [Psalm 34, Psalm 40, Psalm 91, Psalm 92 and others] small portions of which I memorized and began to meditate on during my daily walks. Also, Philippans 4:6-7, Ephesians 5:17-20 would sooth my soul. That ordeal led me to crystalize on what I REALLY WANTED from the Lord since He was not giving me that 'thunderbolt healing' I begged for. All I asked for finally was His peace and His presence...the kind I had as a child when I first believed. I now want only to do His will and someday hear Jesus say "Welcome thou good and faithful servant....". God bless you and your family always. By the way, your mom, Shirley is my cousin, I've always loved her and your dad Doug!

Michael Crawford