Art Saves Again • by Pam Carriker

MASTER CREATOR
Returning as a guest curator alumni caused me to pause and think, realizing that art does not only save us one time, it continues to do so over the course of our lives. For me this hit especially close to home this past Christmas. Whatever your spiritual beliefs are I think many would agree that creativity has a spiritual quality to it. It’s a gift, this drive we have to create, and for me this gift comes from the Master Creator and I thank Him every day for being allowed the joy and peace it brings me. I don’t often write about art in this way on a public forum choosing instead to let it flow into my work and try (albeit imperfectly) to live it in my life. I struggle to stay positive and encouraging rather than ranting about the negative things life throws in my path. We all have our share of problems and I want others to see that creating art can be a way to help us through bad times rather than focus on the bad time itself.

MATTER OF MINUTES
This past Christmas, actually a couple of weeks before, as I was packing for my once in a lifetime art retreat in Paris, I received a phone call that changed my whole focus in a matter of minutes. My dad has cancer. Again. They want to operate immediately.

I know not everyone is as lucky as I was growing up. I know I was blessed with a wonderful father whose love I never doubted. I was cared for, loved, made to feel special, and always had my dad to turn to when life got rough. Now it was my dad who would need to turn to my siblings and I to get through this huge obstacle. This was and is very hard for him. He is a hero (to me), a firefighter, someone who takes care of others, and relies on his strength and intelligence to get him through hard times and difficult situations. He’s a young 60 something and very active in an outdoorsy way. He’d already battled cancer, and then helped my step mom battle breast cancer all last year. Now he was being told that he had cancer in his face as a result from the treatment of his 20 year ago battle. It wasn’t fair.

GOOD PEOPLE
One of the many lessons we learn and keep learning in life is that it’s not fair. Bad things happen to good people. My dad is "good people." It was evident by all the emails that flooded his hospital website page that I’m not alone in this opinion. Every time (and I mean every time) any of us kids have ever needed help, we knew we could count on him. Now it was time to help him and he wouldn’t, he couldn’t ask. He tried to put on a brave face even though we all could see through it. We were scared and so was he. My dad does not cry, and he cried.

PARIS & PRAYERS
I flew back home to see him and he encouraged me to continue with my trip because it was already paid for, and other people had paid money to come and have me teach them. I have never been more conflicted in my life. My heart did not want to go, but my mind knew it would not be fair to cancel at that late date. So after my visit, with the encouragement of my family, I went.

My heart did not go with me though. It stayed by my dad as I went to cathedral after cathedral around Paris and lit candles and said prayers for him. So did my friends teaching with me. We lit candles in beautiful old cathedrals where the presence of God made me feel very small, but very comforted at the same time.

ART OF TEARS
And Art, well let’s just say that my journaling took on a new meaning and became especially comforting to me. I literally sat on the bed one afternoon with tears streaming down my face and drew. I couldn’t stop the flow, of either the tears or the art. I could feel it pouring out of me onto the page. When I was done I wiped my face and went to be with my children, not feeling better necessarily, but that I could cope with the daily activities that needed to be dealt with. That’s what art does for me, it helps me to deal with the good and the bad of daily life. I’m happy to say my dad made it through his 10+ hour surgery and is doing very well heading into his treatment. His strength makes him even more a hero in my eyes and I hope that I can be half the parent he’s been to me to my own children.

To learn more about Pam Carriker, visit her Web site at pamcarriker.com.

Comments

[bevie]

Over the past 4 or 5 yrs that I've gotten to know you over the internet you were a person who loves deeply, family and friends, and isn't afraid of reaching out to those who need some help. I admire you for all that you stand for, and am honored to be called a friend...(((gentle hugs)))

[Christy Grant]

Very touching, Pam. Your dad IS good people and I've never met him. I was one of the fortunate ones to have a great mom and dad. I'll be saying a prayer for you both as he continues to heal.

[Judy Wise]

thank you for reminding us, Pam. My prayers too go out for your father's recovery. Courage and strength to all of you. xo

[Ali Senior]

As one of those students on that Paris art course I am sure I speak for the others when I say that I feel incredibly humbled that you made the choice you did. Nobody would have criticised you under the circumstances if you had cancelled and whilst we may have been disappointed we would have fully understood and I certainly would have supported the decision. Pam the retreat ended up being one of those life experiences I will forever treasure. I met wonderful people, learnt new things and lived a dream for three wonderful days. The best thing is that the gift you and the others there all shared for those days will live on as it is paid forward. Sending all the possible best wishes for you, your dad and your family.

[Nancy Lefko]

Huge hugs, Pam....your dad is tough and you've inherited that and all the best from him. Sending prayers and love!

[Mariette]

Sending love and well wishes ;-)

[Michele Redman]

This article was so touching. My dad was like yours and was the best. He suffered terribly when he died. I miss him more than anyone could imagine. He was loved by everyone who met him because he gave his heart to everyone who met him. I know that he lives on in me as I too give my heart away. I hope your dad is healthy again and doing well. <3

[Sandy Guderyon]

Pam, we are with you at this time when it is so needed. To be able to carry on brings out the courage (and then some) we didn't even know we had! It will all be there as you need it and you won't run out of it at all.Others will rally round. It's not fair what's happening to your Dad and your family. That Spirit that you mention is a fountain of endless supply.One of the heartwarming parts of all of this is that your father is so appreciated. Think what that must mean to him now. Paraying for recovery,
Sandy in California.

[julee]

You are such a dear person, all heart. From the time we worked together and got to know one another on the design team way back when :) and every time we've connected since then you've always been warm, caring and mindful. I'm sure that you got some of that from your dad. Carrying the best of our parents forward and growing it and sharing it are the best gifts you can give him and the world. Thank you for sharing your story, Pam. Art really is the salve that soothes the soul for so many of us.

Light and Love and a ton of hugs
xoxo
jul