Finding Myself & Losing Myself • by Jenn Docherty

Art is about finding myself and losing myself at the same time.

Nurturing in Different Ways
At different phases in my life, art has nurtured me in different ways. As my emotional landscape changed, so, too, did my mode of creative expression. As a child, I wasn't terribly artistic, but I was imaginative and creative. Being the only child in my house, I was a bit introspective and had to find ways to amuse myself. During those dark, tumultuous days of discovery in the teen years, I wrote poetry and started to draw, and this helped me sort out just who I was, and enabled me to navigate those rough waters. In college, I started to experience the pure joy of creating. I discovered feltmaking and realized that you didn’t need to draw or paint to be an artist. Here was a medium that seemed so new to me, so free from what I thought were the rules of art and what it took to be an artist. It had such possibility and opened up a whole new realm of creativity. Then art became something that brought me confidence and happiness, a bit of recognition, and even a means of financial security.

Since I’ve had my children, my life has been filled with amazing highs as well as a few lows. My children are my life and an absolute joy. I cherish my role as a mother, but I think it is only natural to feel lost at times. I find that my art allows me to nurture that part of myself, deep within, that sometimes gets forgotten in the rush to fill cups with apple juice and comb knots out of hair. Art is about finding myself and losing myself at the same time.

Igniting the Flame
Art is my comfort food. It’s my cozy blanket that I can snuggle up with at the end of a monotonous day. Art feels indulgent, and to be honest, it’s not something I find the time for much these days. It’s reserved for “after-hours” when I have enough energy left after a day filled with the busy tasks that come with being the mother to two small children. It’s something I daydream about when I’m doing the laundry, when I’m pushing a swing. My mind is teeming with ideas; notebooks are filling up. When I finally sit down to create, I feel the constraints falling away, and I become me again, and it feels wonderful to tend to that little fire within me, and keep it burning. And I know that one day, when my little daughters have grown into beautiful, creative, and independent big girls, they can ignite that wee flame within themselves!

To learn more about Jenn Docherty, visit jenndocherty.com.

Comments

[Ellen]

Jenn,
I am so glad you shared your story~
I can so relate to your words, "Art is about finding myself and losing myself at the same time". We have to allow time to let facets of our soul shine through. Being creative allows us the freedom of discovery, to find those moments. I am happy you have found your passion, gave it time, and allowed it to grow~ Thank you for sharing! I love your wish for your daughters~ :D