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April 12, 2011

I { } You

Jenny Doh
I heart you.

I luv ya.

Luv ya.

All variations to the ultimate I love you, right?

For me, spelling it all out, and saying the entire phrase: I love you ... it's a significant matter not to be taken lightly. Which is why I don't say it or write it very often. I think it has something to do with my upbringing. In Korean culture, the term "I love you" is just not said very much. In Korean culture, there is actually a term called "jung" which is almost considered more powerful than love. It is difficult to translate but it relates to the fondness and endearment that grows through familiarity. When love seems impossible, jung makes it possible. Where there is jung, love can eventually develop and become real.

I'd much rather someone I love conclude that I love him/her through my actions. Am I listening? Am I serving? Am I supporting? Am I giving? Am I being fair? Am I forgiving? If so, likely I am loving. No need for me to declare in the heat of the moment "I love love love you" only to be swept away by the next exciting thing I see, without my investing in actions that demonstrate and back up and make real, my love. Don't get me wrong. There are instances when I say the words. And those instances are usually reserved for my family members and closest friends.

But trust me. I won't be hurt if you never say it to me. In fact, I'll be leary if you say it to me too much, too soon, and too loudly. Because frequency and volume do not equate to depth and action.

With love. ;)


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I so get this. I really really do.

AMEN, shout this truth from the roof top sister!!! :)

That is exactly the point I try to make when I explain why my family doesn't say I love you.
Because we have no doubt it just seems ridiculous to state the obvious, at the corp of my being I have never doubted the love my parents have for me because everything they have ever done has been a constant validation of that. Saying I love you in my family is like the ultimate DUH. I have started to say it because so many people have commented on how odd it is that we dont. When I do, the words just sort of hang there and I know they are thinking DUH as if we ever doubted it. Everything I do is a constant validation of my love for them as well.

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