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June 03, 2014


Conceptual or Intuitive?


Some things floating in my mind these days.

1. After my Boat People art show that happened earlier this year, I started feeling this weird pressure. It was a pressure that I felt by way of a small voice within me saying something like this: "OK Jenny. Now that you're done with this show, stop letting boats appear in your art. You should be done with that. Move on to your next." This pressure felt really bad and made me feel restless and uneasy and uncomfortable. What I have realized recently is that that voice is fucked up. Who the hell is it to tell me that just because I've painted boats that I am no longer able to? It's arbitrary and it's illogical to impose a timeline and a ban like that. So I've decided to take that pressure off of me and allow myself to let boats appear in my art to the degree that I want them there. And to not let them appear if I don't want them there. And to have them evolve as they appear if I want them to evolve.

Photo-2

2. Speaking of evolution, I've been seeing a few other things in my art and my environment, which you may have noticed. Namely, the vagina. I see them everywhere! I also see antlers, bows, arrows, and a few other things. And whatever I see, I usually go with it.

3. But when I think about #2, I wonder if I'm really seeing all that or if I'm surrepticiously infusing constructed concepts into my paintings. In other words, is my process intuitive and abstract or is it conceptual? Other great questions: What is it that we allow ourselves to see? What don't we let ourselves see? What do we force ourselves to see? I think that topic is quite interesting. For the most part, when I begin a painting, it is very intiutive and abstract. And at a certain point, when I let the canvas really speak to me, I do see things. But why do I see vaginas and antlers while another artist might see something completely different? When is intuition actually concept and when is concept intuition? Perhaps they are more inter-related, is what I'm thinking lately. Not so separate.

4. So all of this talk makes me think about Regina Spektor's song, On the Radio, which I adore. The lyrics pierce my heart:

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again

  Jenny

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Comments

LOL I SOO saw the same thing in a few of your pieces and thought .."hmmmm, now WHO exactly could I tell & still sound relatively sane; that 'hey, I see vaginas in this woman's paintings' "?!!! I LOVE that you've shared this post! Your work is magnificently moving to me. Thank you again LOL! Go with it girl!

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