During my recent session with Therapist, when I was expressing guilt related to some relationships in my life, Therapist said "You're being hard on yourself." To which I said,
"With all due respect, you are saying that I'm being hard on myself because of the nature of our relationship ... which is that I'm paying you to listen to me and to sort of be on my side. You are not objective."
And then I explained that if I were to be in a room with people that I didn't know and people I wasn't paying, that my behaviors could be assessed with true objectivity ... assessing bad as bad without any stories spun for sympathy.
Therapist's response was this:
"I am not sort of on your side. I am on your side. And, I am objective. How would it serve you to be on your side and offer assessments that were disingenous? How would that be being on your side? Can't I be on your side and observe that you are being hard on yourself at times that you are being hard on yourself and observe that you are being cavalier at times when you are being cavalier?"
What a powerful concept. The concept that really defines my biggest insights this year.
Good and bad.
Serious and in touch with feelings.
On my side and objective.
Not naughty or nice, but naughty and nice.