Help Us.

Dear God,
Is it evil that took innocent children?

Or is it you who turned your back on them because you felt you weren't welcome in their school? Are you the Gentleman God who abandons buildings where you feel you're not wanted, as some have recently argued?

Surely you felt their love. The love that all children have for you. Love born out of true innocence and true faith. The kind I had when I was their age ... five, six, seven. Believing that if I clasped my hands tightly enough as my grandmother prayed before our meals ... that if I believed hard enough, that if I kept my eyes shut tightly enough that you'd actually be there. Physically and for real.

Fierce, fervent, true, and innocent was their faith that frightful Friday morning, as they heard the shots. Took the shots. Witnessed the shots. And then wondered where you were. Their Gentleman God. As they believed, clasped, shut, prayed. And then passed to leave behind ...

their families.

My candles don't help the families. My hugging my children doesn't help them. What will help them? What will help them?

What will help us?

Help the families, Lord.

Help us.

Help us find ways to care for the mentally ill.

Help us control our weapons.

Help us understand.

Help us communicate.

Help us.

Amen.

Dear God :: Let Them Sit Toward the Front

Dear God:
It feels like yesterday that I brought Monica (8 pounds 7 ounces) home from the hospital (left) and then two and a half years later, brought Andrew (9 pounds 1 ounce) home from the hospital (right).

Here they are today, Lord, 16 and 13 years later, respectively. All grown up but still very much my little babies.

I'm all choked up, Lord. Thank you for allowing me to have these wonderful people in my life.

And on this, their first day together at Orange County High School of the Arts, let them find their way to each of their classes. Let them pick seats that are toward the front of the class ... because you know it's the back of the class where all the shady deals happen. Please, let them sit toward the front. Let them find each other during the lunch hour so that they can at least have each other in case no one else sits with them. Let them both eat not just their sandwiches but also their apples. Protect them from bullies, druggies, and the overly belligerent ones. And if they encounter peers who cut, eat plastic swords, smoke dope, or have extreme anger issues, please ... let them respectfully but decidedly walk away.

Hear my prayer.

Amen.

Dear God :: Forgiveness, not Payback

Dear God,

Be with my baby girl as she begins her 6 hours of behind-the-wheel training with her driver's ed teacher. Shield her from the idiot tailgaters, and protect her from any a-holes who might want to cut her off. Teach her that idiots and a-holes need forgiveness, not payback ... especially while on the road.

Hear my prayer.

Jenny

Dear God :: Father of My Babies

Dear God,

On this Father's Day, I thank you for giving me the wisdom for picking the right guy to father my children. I am grateful that he:

• defines fun as working hard, reading, and enjoying instant watch on Netflix
• hears me complaining about my neck and always says "Your neck is perfect, honey."
• does not hover over me, asking me suffocating details of my life that should only be asked by my closest girlfriends
• has finally learned to refrain from saying "What are you going to do with that?" when observing my latest crafty creations
• appreciates a good tequilla
• listens to my babies, makes them laugh, cooks them amazing food, lifts them up, wipes their tears, and no matter what, cheers. them. on.

Thank you.
Amen

Dear God :: Not Perfect, Just Forgiven

Dear God,

As I prepare for my upcoming road trip back to my hometown of Bakersfield later this month, I ask that you help me not be so shallow. Because along with all the fun that I'll have hitting all the hot spots from my past including Der Wienerschnitzel on Chester Avenue and Valley Plaza on Ming Avenue, I sure would love for you to help me run into the boy who broke my heart ... broken not into two pieces, Lord, but shattered into a million little ones. You remember that time, don't you Lord? The blazing hot summer of 1986 where church camp became the ground where Jesus was hardly found and innocence unfairly lost.

And when this encounter happens, please let me catch sight of him not directly, but through my peripheral vision so that I can walk away from him ... only to be stopped by a tap on my shoulder, causing me to turn around to witness that boy ... now grown ... hopefully with a severely receding hairline, perhaps a missing tooth, and likely with a layer of belly fat that not even a Members Only jacket can camouflauge. And when I turn around, for him to say the six words that I think I deserve to hear: "I'm sorry I was an ass." And before I can answer, for him to be whisked away by a wife who even through peripheral vision presents with hips that no man, not even one with a receding hairline, could be proud of. The more I think about it, I don't think this prayer is shallow at all, Lord. Do you have any idea how long it took for me to gather those million little pieces and put them all back together? Do you?!!!

sorry.
didn't mean to yell.

But really Lord, it's all in the past. I'm ready to let it go. I have let it go. Really ... and I trust that whether the encounter happens or not, you'll help him know that I know that he knows that he's not perfect, just forgiven.

Hear my prayer.

Amen.

Dear God :: Unlock the Answer

Dear God,
Is this question really on the mind of anybody? Really?

If you wouldn't mind, would you fill me in on what Joyce's answer to this question was? Because if truth be told, I am slightly curious. Can you blame me? Wouldn't you be?

But I really don't want to "click here" or there or anywhere to unlock her answer, Lord. Becuase I have a feeling that if I do, bad things will happen ... very bad things that likely have a deep, dark, and complex relationship with consumers of Farmville, and gold level members of Classmates.com.

Amen.

Dear God :: Teach us the BCC & lead us not into REPLY ALL

To: God
BCC: All

This morning, Lord, I pray that you spare me from becoming caught in yet another one of those emails that go out addressed to a bazillion people by way of multiple recipients or multiple CCs. But if for some reason you cannot prevent me from becoming tangled in such an email, I ask that none of the people on that multiple recipient list or multiple CC list writes a response and pushes the REPLY ALL button.

Because quite frankly, Lord, I don't think my IN box can handle yet another flood of REPLY ALL emails ... do you hear me Lord? My IN box CANNOT handle it!

sorry.
didn't mean to yell.

I pray that you will impart your wisdom upon us to send emails to one person at a time, or to learn how to use the BCC, and that you will lead us not into the evil that is REPLY ALL.

Hear my prayer.

Amen.

Dear God :: Please Let Her Love Yoga

Dear God,

Today is the day that my Monica joins me for yoga. Please let her love it. Well, if she doesn't love it, please let her not hate it.

Oh God, I need her to love it so that we can share it together and we can stop going to the mega gym where it's gotten colder and more dreadful with each visit. I'm through with the mega gyms, Lord. Do you hear me? I'm through with the stink, and through with the smirky smiles of dudes who think I'm admiring their parts. T H R O U G H.

It would be so wonderful to share the smaller, cozier, warmer vibe of yoga with my daughter, Lord ... where it smells like incense when you walk in, where nobody talks too loud, and no dude is strutting his anything in front of me (yet).

Amen.